Does childhood glory really set us up for success?

In the run-up to the Olympics we take a look at the lasting legacy of children who were pushed, and pushed themselves, to excel.

Kids who are popular at school become drop-outs in later life. Or at least that’s what many of us were told by parents, peers or sympathetic pop culture as we muddled through awkward adolescence. It’s a narrative backed up by research that finds ‘popular children’ are more likely to display heightened aggression, victimization, and greater engagement in risk behaviours in adulthood. But what about the children who seemed destined to succeed? Who, in their teens, were already breaking records, winning medals, and basking in national glory.

Gia Argiolas, a researcher and practitioner in early years education, focuses on child development. She says “in an age of outshining our peers on social media, it’s more important than ever to help children navigate the constraints of conventional goals and curriculums. Right now there is such a great pressure on children to achieve what the government, society, or parents mark out for them, but there are other approaches, such as that proposed by Margaret Carr, which move beyond proscribed achievement milestones.”

These focus on following a child’s interests, involvement, persistence, creativity, confidence, reciprocity and responsibility, and aim to stop our obsession with putting children into identity boxes. In Argiolas’ experience, if so-called ‘golden children’, lack this support, the result is often anxiety and identity-crisis.

“You see cases where children who are high-achievers in a specific area, struggle to transition into adult worlds where goals are looser and the parameters more changeable. It can create adults who feel lost, helpless or incompetent in tasks outside of their area of experience. You see it play out in work-avoidant behaviour and feelings of low self-worth.” It's a narrative former-teen GB athlete, Cara Brown, has experience with.

When Cara was 18-years-old she joined a talent scout programme called Girls4Gold, a scheme where the country’s top young female athletes competed to see if they were good enough for GB development squads. Cara had run at county-level for 100m and 200m while at school, and with a sprinters’ physique, she was selected for British Skeleton.

Cara joined an elite squad of seven girls fast-tracked for the Olympics, and quit her work in physiotherapy. She moved across the country to become a full-time athlete and as part of an intense regime of psychological, technical and physical coaching, she trained 12-times a week. In the winter months, the team went abroad, and injuries were a common occurrence. Training in Norway, Cara got what is called ‘skelehead’, a form of concussion, while a teammate fractured her spine on the track.

Despite the challenges, Cara remembers those early days positively with her mind focused on the Milan Cortina winter games. In 2022 however, funding got dropped from the squad and Cara was cut from the team. “My biggest goal in life had been ‘I want to be a GB athlete, I want to be a GB athlete’ and then when I finally got there, to get dropped with no follow-up support was just, it was devastating. I had dedicated my life to the sport and then entered a yearlong identity crisis. I didn’t know where my path was going.”

Eventually, Cara returned to physiotherapy and now lives in London where she competes in Cross Fit competitions. “I’m really grateful for the opportunity, to have been a full-time professional athlete, but at the same time I would caution that for a child, for anybody, it is a very cut-throat environment,” It’s a mixed review of the child-athlete industry, but one that hints to disappointment in your youth being a particularly formative experience.    

It's a message shared by polar explorer Charlie Smith, who at 19-years old was pegged to be the youngest person to complete ‘The Coldest Crossing’. The Coldest Crossing is an unsupported 250-mile polar exploration trek over one of the most challenging glacial terrains. The course was set to be traversed in the depth of Icelandic winter, and, in 2015, Charlie’s attempt, leading a small team, had drawn the interest of American documentary-makers.

The trip was meant to be the culmination of ambition, will-power and youthful obsession but instead brought lung infections, frostbite, freak-storms and three separate Iceland Search and Rescues. The media condemned the young group for being naïve.  

“After that, most of the team decided to give up expeditions altogether but I couldn’t do it. I’ve stayed in the space, learnt from mistakes and now help others with their expedition training. Funnily enough, after all those rescues, I developed an amazing relationship with Iceland Search and rescue and, a few years later, I went on to be picked as one of the next generation of Shackleton’s.”

For Charlie, the disappointment of a childhood dream taught him perspective and resilience, and he describes the period as ‘a coming of age’ story. To finish the narrative, and nearly a decade on, he plans to return to Iceland with the original film team to sign-off on the Coldest Crossing. “I don’t need to break any records, or, as when I first started out, to chest-beat. Now it’s more about my connection to the place and the people. It’s emotional closure.”

Dr Sam Wass, a child psychologist and neuroscientist, with a specialism in childhood stress, thinks this more positive response to high-performance stress can be instilled at an early age with the right support. “There is no doubt that exceptionally high-performing children tend to have worst outcomes later in life but I think there are ways to do it. To help children succeed and handle high-stress.”

“Psychologist Caroline Dweck creates a pathway for this by suggesting we praise children for effort and not achievement. The idea is to build motivation around ‘trying hard’ and not for success alone. Too often, if a child isn’t good at an activity straight away, they will conclude that it is not for them, and after that they will avoid it altogether.” Liam McKean, a child actor, supports this belief and credits his parents for ensuring show biz remained a positive experience even after he stepped out of the limelight in adulthood.

Liam was 11 when he found out he had been cast as Gavroche in Les Misérables. Except this wasn’t your average school production or a regional stage school, he had landed a principal role on London’s West End alongside a star-studded cast. For the next year he shuttled between primary school in Kent and The Queen’s Theatre in soho, singing solo’s, rubbing shoulders with I’d Do Anything star, Jodie Prenger and earning his first salary. “Because I started so young I just didn’t know to be nervous. It was more an extension of my hobbies. I did it because it was fun and I wanted to be there.”

After Les Mis, Liam joined the cast of Oliver! and performed alongside Fagan’s Omid Djalili and Rowan Atkinson. But, as his voice broke and he stepped into film, he felt something shifting. “I was starting to grow up, entering that world of GCSEs and it’s really intense in film. You do the scene over and over, consistently getting ‘no that’s not right’, or ‘go again’. I was 14 and at that age where there were so many choices to make, so many physical and mental changes. I just didn’t want the acting in the same way anymore.”

Now in his late 20s Liam is a consultant for a software company based in Canterbury and looking back, he feels lucky his stint as a child actor didn’t leave him “too scarred.” “Fortunately my parents were supportive of my decision, and overall the experience was so special. But I can see at times it was slightly alienating being that kid that’s always going off, leaving school for random periods while everyone else stays in. I wouldn’t change it though, I learnt so much from working with adults and I think gaining early independence was really beneficial.”

Liam says since leaving acting he occasionally comes across one of his former child star companions and says the pressure they face is not something he envies. “Most kids barely know what they are doing at that age, or really know who they want to be.” In Argiolas’ experience this fact is why it’s so important to give children space for discovery. Her primary piece of advice for supporting young children is to “step back and observe – create an environment where your child can independently gravitate towards experiences and try not to let your fixed development goals lead.”

So as you and your child settle in front of the TV to watch this years’ Paris Olympics, maybe spend a moment reflecting on all the ways you can help them win gold without living in pursuit of the medal ceremony.